Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
