I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I didn't notice because vodka
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
