Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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