Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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