If that was your dad, he is hot
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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