Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think I won the penis lottery.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
