I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize