sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
