I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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