i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
