So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
love makes seman taste better
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i dont even know how to be here
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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