you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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