So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
