I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
