THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
