I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think people are normalizing furries
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize