I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
