I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
