Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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