RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
