I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
