There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
