If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
