john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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