You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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