About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
