Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
