so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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