I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
