How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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