I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
