I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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