Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Randomize
