i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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