32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we're making bets on your personal life
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
