I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
