looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
