You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
