maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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