True but thats because hes a fetus.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
