She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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