Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
