woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
