I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
