Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
