would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
