ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
