she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
