Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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