So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
