oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
