It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
