you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
