Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
