i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I have post one night stand depression
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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