Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
