He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
