Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
