He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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