Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
