State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
