just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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