Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
